What is life like for a teenager? It can be tough to figure out what to do next when juggling homework, extracurricular activities, and social life. This post will provide a comprehensive guide on how to grow into a successful and well-rounded person.
We'll explore key things you can do to set yourself up for success in adulthood. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it. You can achieve all your goals if you set them right. You can become a confident, emotionally strong, and resilient person. You can reach the life you want if you take the advice from this blog post seriously.
So whether you're just starting high school or getting ready for college, read on for advice that will help you make the most of your teenage years! Oh, and don't forget to share it with your friends – they'll appreciate it, too! 🙂
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What is it like being a teenager?
- Nobody takes you seriously.
- There is never enough sleep.
- You have an overbooked schedule.
- Adults expect you to behave like an adult while treating you like a child.
- A lot of drama, crushes, and new experiences every day.
The above points are the essence of modern teen life. Your life as a teenager is overwhelming as you deal with hormones, new emotions, a growing number of responsibilities, and expectations from other people. No wonder many teenagers feel stressed out throughout their entire teen years.
Hopefully, you have your favorite hobbies, activities, and friends that give you enough energy to deal with your life.
But if you feel too much pressure and don't have enough time to understand the life you want to build, there is a great way to help.
The best thing is to have someone you can talk to and get good advice from (friends and parents don't count). For example, a mentor can expand your horizons and teach you some essential life skills to help you succeed later on. Research data also confirm that adult mentors help teens thrive.
Teen coach
I always recommend that teens find a mentor who can guide them through their teen years. A great mentor will positively impact your life by fostering your belief in yourself.
But not every teen is so lucky to have a confidant in their life. A good solution would be to find a decent teen coach to help you create a vision of your desired life, set goals, and help you reach some of them. Setting goals is an essential step towards a successful teen and adult life that many people find unnecessary.
I myself would love to have such a coach in my teen years so that I may better plan my life and learn how to establish the life of my dreams as soon as possible.
Even if you can't afford a teen coach right now, I'd like to share some of the most crucial things I believe every teenager must know to have a successful and happy life.
How to be happy as a teenager
Recently I attended an event where a guest speaker was Marisa Peer, a celebrity therapist. She gave a fantastic speech about reprogramming people's minds for success. The event I attended was aimed at an adult audience highly motivated to succeed. When I listened to the points of Marisa's speech, I couldn't get one particular thought out of my mind: "I wish I knew this when I was a teen." While Marisa did not reveal entirely new information to people familiar with the subject, she presented the entire core of "how to be successful" science.
I'd want to share this knowledge with every teenager I could reach to assist you in getting off to a good start in life.
First of all, learn and memorize the following statement: Your thoughts influence your feelings; your feelings influence your actions. Change the way you think, and you'll change the way you act.
This simple but mighty knowledge is successfully applied in cognitive-behavioral therapy.
For the rest of your life, you need to remember that "Your beliefs change your biology." This statement means you become the person you believe you are. As simple as that.
Successful people differ from others by the way they think about themselves.
10 habits of successful people every teen should learn ASAP.
1. Be responsible for your thoughts: monitor your thinking every day because everything you say to yourself becomes a blueprint for your behavior.
2. Take responsibility for your life and your mistakes. Often people look for excuses for their failure in life after making poor life choices. Successful people never try to find excuses; they plan their life and make conclusions from their mistakes.
3. Do what you dislike if it gets you closer to your goal. If you hate doing something, do it first thing in the morning so that thoughts about it don't drain your energy the entire day.
Make uncomfortable comfortable for you - this is a game-changing habit that can help you make your dreams come true. But this one is the most difficult as well. If you feel very anxious talking to other people, this is the first thing you need to start practicing. Do not push yourself to the limits from the beginning. Start small, like chatting with a stranger every day in a coffee shop, in a student canteen, or in your school. Then progress slowly to more challenging tasks that require more social courage from you.
Getting used to doing uncomfortable things is how you become a truly successful person because overcoming fears and challenges make your personality grow.
4. Take action toward your dream every single day; even small steps count, and you'll feel like a winner. For this, you'll need actually to set your goals first. We have a fantastic blog post that teaches you the art of goal setting for teens, and you can read it here
5. Do not take "no" from other people: when someone denies your ideas, this just means "go back and work on it." Take a denial as a delay, not as a rejection. If you hear no from other people, tell yourself, "this is only their opinion." This skill requires high self-esteem, so check out Marisa Peer's free meditation "I'm enough" if you feel like you are not worthy enough.
6. Learn the skill of delayed gratification. Learn to set priorities in your life, and choose to do now the things that will make your life better in the future. The simplest example is: do your assignment now, and you'll have the entire weekend free for your hobbies and friends. Or, instead of playing a video game every day, choose to do so only two days a week, and use the time left to learn about metaverse or programming or take action toward your dream.
7. Praise yourself every day. Even for small things, train your praise muscle, and you'll raise your self-esteem. You need to learn the skill of noticing your small achievements, even if this is just getting up 10 min earlier today to have a decent breakfast before school. To grow the habit of praising yourself faster, try to write 3 things that you are proud of doing today. Keep writing and reading your notes every day for at least 30 days; the longer, the better. After this, you'll see that it is getting easier and easier to be proud of yourself.
8. Be nice to people and learn to raise someone's self-esteem. Do not suck up to people, but genuinely praise people when you feel so.
If you find time, I highly recommend reading or listening to the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. This book explains why it is so important to be nice to people and praise them for a successful life.
9. Tell people how good you are. Do not shy away from stating yourself.
Choose something you are doing very well, and tell people," Yes, I'm the best in.... (skating, playing video games, doing maths, whatever that thing is for you)." Of course, you cannot state that you are great at maths if you can count only using your phone's calculator. But if there is something that you are really great in, show it to other people, and promote yourself as a valuable brand.
10. Be good at one thing, narrow it down, and become an enormous success. Narrowing it down means that you need to focus on a particular skill or topic and master it as much as possible. If you are interested in cooking oysters or doing a triple somersault, grow this skill, and you'll be able to transform it into a valuable asset. Become the number one in something, and you'll be irreplaceable.
How to get ready for a successful career and independent life?
1. Communication and networking skills
If you want to be successful, you need to learn how to communicate with people and build networks. Effective communication means learning how to start and maintain conversations, be polite, use "thank you," listen actively, and create relationships. Opportunities are limitless, and networking is an essential skill if you want to succeed in any field.
It's not always what you know that matters; it's who you know and whether or how well they understand what you're capable of. Networking might help you get ahead in your career by providing access to resources or opportunities that would otherwise be closed off.
Moreover, knowing people who can help your company grow and have a vast web of connections can facilitate your work. If you can offer these assets to a company, they may be willing to pay you more or give you promotions!
Also, it's essential to be kind and helpful to people, which will make your networking come easier and more naturally. Remember that people love generosity. Small favors like helping someone with a plugin on their phone can come back to you as a fantastic life opportunity. You do not need to make good to people if they do not ask you, but offering small help from time to time is a great way to make the right connections.
Dr. Robert Cialdini wrote a fantastic book on persuasion. His first principle of influence is that humans are inclined to reciprocate favors and repay debts. Or, in Biblical terms: "to treat others as they have treated us." We highly recommend reading this science-backed book called "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion." You'll learn so much about interactions between people and become aware of the many tricks and manipulations people try on each other every day.
If you are ready to learn more about the art of networking, there are many ways to do that. You can learn these skills by attending workshops or taking courses. Also, there are many great books and Youtube videos to teach you about communication and networking strategies. We recommend you to read one particularly awesome book on networking called "Friend Of A Friend . . .: Understanding the Hidden Networks That Can Transform Your Life and Your Career."
Here are just a few tips from the book that I found helpful:
- Don't devote all of your attention to current connections; reconnect with past friends and fellow students, as they might provide you with new opportunities and ideas.
- Instead of networking-based events, use activity-based events (such as masterclasses and volunteer activities) to build connections.
Finally, this book is excellent for you if you naturally tend to be more introverted. It teaches several ways to get past your blocking introverted stance more comfortably and readily.
Also, the book gives mechanisms to cope with your blockers while still maintaining an authentic self.
We really couldn't recommend this book high enough!
Also, I would like to emphasize the importance of correct public appearance (or optics in political terms). Make sure whatever is visible to the public isn't something you'd mind a potential employer or college admissions committee seeing. You already know that employers and colleges frequently check prospective employees' social media accounts before hiring them. So, it's essential to keep your social network presence as clean as possible. Please, avoid provocative photographs or postings for your safety.
2. Self-education skills
Do you know that when you graduate from college, there is a big chance your knowledge is already outdated? Depending on the field, it is essential to understand that you need to keep learning new things and developing your skills to stay relevant and employable.
There are many ways to do that these days. With the power of the internet, you can educate yourself on almost any topic for free. You can find dozens of MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses) on various topics, ranging from programming and data science to marketing and business.
Additionally, online resources like websites and blogs offer free tutorials on various subjects. Or suppose you prefer learning in a more structured manner. In that case, you can also find numerous online courses that teach everything from computer coding to design skills to cooking. Explore the endless opportunities to learn anything these days with Coursera, EDX, Udemy, Linda, Skillshare, MasterClass, etc.
For example, you can even choose several courses from the university or college you will apply to on Coursera. Sign up for the course, watch the quality of teaching materials, and see if you can understand anything from these courses. Maybe you can even pass some of the courses and add the certificate to your resume during your college application. Such proactivity can benefit you in the eyes of the college admissions committee.
So if you're not sure what to do after high school, or even if you are, take some time to learn new things and develop your skills. It will benefit you in the long run!
If you want to know the smart system for self-education, you should read the book "Ultralearning." If you master the skill of ultralearning, it will be your competitive advantage in school or college and your entire life. The book is based on solid cognitive psychology research. This book is gem-packed with helpful learning techniques for immediate implementation. I'm sure every teen must learn the method of ultralearning to spend their time with books more effectively during the long years of education. This book is a fast reading with only around 260 pages.
3. Organizational and time management skills.
It's essential to organize your time to work on the most critical tasks first and use your time efficiently.
To boost your time management skills and improve productivity, I highly recommend the book "Train Your Brain For Success: Read Smarter, Remember More, and Break Your Own Records." Many people misunderstand time management. There are common myths about multitasking when you try to do several things simultaneously, which never works.
In the "Train Your Brain..." book, two fantastic chapters (Chapters 10 and 11) teach you one of the most effective time management techniques. If you learn and implement the 2-hour rule offered by Roger Seip in this book, you'll become productive as hell. It may seem difficult for a teen to apply this technique to the school schedule. But you can plan the afterschool time using the 2-hour rule, where you spend 2 hours weekly to plan the following week.
Planning your week for 2 hours might seem odd for you now, but having a habit of planning your time will pay off a couple of years later during your adult life. The skill of planning according to the 2-hour rule is so valuable because, unlike standard scheduling, this technique encourages you to focus on your goals and assess what has and hasn't been successful for you. The two-hour method focuses on your goals by dividing your time into four parts:
- Green time. These are lessons at school, several scheduled afterschool activities, part-time jobs, etc.
- Red time. This is the time that supports your green time. Red time may include your homework, project and exam preparation time, etc.
- Flex time. The time to address unexpected situations and things to do. You leave the unoccupied several time slots during your day/week. Later, you can use these slots if something urgent has come up to have time to do it or shift your red time if you have to use your red time slot to solve urgent issues.
- Recreation time. Hobbies, meeting with friends, family time, sports, etc.
Roger Seip wrote his book for adults. Still, I'm convinced that every teen can master this scheduling technique and lead a more balanced life with less stress, even with all the upcoming graduation hustle. I love the 2-hour rule because it teaches you to schedule your time considering the goal that you want to achieve in your life.
Such strong time-management skills can lead to significant progress in your life. Remember: Elon Musk has as much time every day as every other person on Earth. Why can he run multiple companies simultaneously while others cannot have a single thing done in time? Read the recommended book to find out the answer!
If you find the above book inapplicable for your current life stage, I recommend you read a fantastic book by David Allen, "Getting Things Done for Teens: Take Control of Your Life in a Distracting World." This book is an adaptation for teens of the famous Getting Things Dome method that helps people improve their productivity and achieve goals. Learning to stay organized is an amazing skill that will pay off 100-fold during your college and career life. To succeed in college or on the job, one has to know how to be punctual, stay on task until the job is done, and pay attention to the details. No one wants to hire or work with someone who is constantly late, slacking off, or forgetting important details.
One of the things I love about this book is that it doesn't just focus on one area of life, like school or work. Instead, it helps you look at your entire life and identify ways to improve in all aspects of your life. The book teaches you to manage stress and anxiety and stay focused on what's important. The book also provides practical tips and techniques that you can use right away to help you make progress toward becoming a more successful adult.
Overall, if you're a teenager looking for ways to improve yourself and transition into adulthood successfully, this is an excellent resource to check out. It'll help you understand what it takes to be successful, and you'll see the improvements in your life. If you're struggling with any aspect of your teenage years, I highly recommend reading this book.
4. Resilience skills: how to stand up for yourself, cope with failure, etc.
In the 10 habits of successful people, I've described all you need to become a resilient person. You'll become an enormously resilient and bulletproof personality if you cultivate those habits. One thing that I would like to add is that all successful people are actually quite aggressive. I do not mean that you must be offensive to other people. What I'm talking about here is so-called "positive aggressiveness." You are positively aggressive when:
- you keep your boundaries strong;
- you do not let other people take your stuff if you do not want to share;
- you say "no" even if you feel the pressure to agree to things you do not wish to;
- you compete with others and believe in your winning.
Cultivate solid boundaries for your personality, believe that you deserve things, and you'll become a resilient person.
If you feel that you do not deserve to be a winner or that people misuse your kindness, I would highly encourage you to seek professional help. There is nothing wrong with you, but sessions with a counselor would help you improve your personality traits, so you'll become much more resilient in your life.
5. Personal presentation skills
Self-presentation skills include self-esteem and self-confidence, personal appearance, non-verbal communication, verbal communication, and soft skills.
A lot has been written in this blog post about achieving self-confidence and high self-esteem by cultivating the habits of successful people and positive aggressiveness.
I would like to focus on personal appearance and verbal and non-verbal communication here.
As for your personal appearance, you do not need to change anything in your look that goes against your personality. Even if you have pink hair and piercings on your brow, nose, and tongue, this doesn't matter if you adjust your look according to life circumstances and your life goals.
It's clear that if you want to get an internship at a well-established company, it is better to ask about their dress code and dress accordingly. But in your spare time, you can dress whatever you want and live your life. Just make sure that your personal life will not affect your college admission or future career. That is why it is always better not to post too provocative photos on social media and keep your account private.
Verbal skills depend on your vocabulary, practice, and self-confidence. Reading is a great way to expand your vocabulary; self-confidence comes if you cultivate those successful people's habits, and practice is the easiest part. You can practice your verbal skills in many different ways. I would recommend Toastmasters club to improve your communication and presentation skills. You can build your presentation confidence there and get several valuable contacts.
Another way is to participate in local drama classes, which also boosts confidence and verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
Non-verbal skills are body language, which depends on your inner state, self-confidence, and self-esteem. But you can learn several tricks to appear a more confident and balanced person. There are fantastic videos from the Stanford Graduate School of Business that I highly encourage you to check out. These are Make Body Language Your Superpower and How to Make the Best First Impressions
6. Money management skills.
Start early on developing your money management skills so that you may understand and be in command of your finances once you leave and begin working.
We have a fantastic blog post about ways to learn financial literacy for teens. Hi highly advise you to read it. There are only the best and proven resources to get money management skills.
Life skills for teenagers
1. Basic diet and cooking skills.
Before entering the young adult life, learn to cook a couple of simple recipes that will save you from eating unhealthy food and spending too much money on takeaways. To keep your energy level high throughout the day, make a habit of eating a protein-rich breakfast and balancing it with healthy fats and complex carbohydrates. This habit will make you less likely to indulge in sugary snacks later in the day.
Here are just a couple of hints on what basic meals you could learn to cook:
- Omelet with vegetables like tomatoes, bell peppers, mushrooms, and spinach; with seafood like shrimps or baby octopuses; with chopped chicken breasts. Try the different combinations of these products to find the one that will be your go-to in every situation.
- Pasta with a simple tomato sauce and cheese is a lifesaver when you have limited time. Learn to cook pasta al dente so it doesn't turn into mush.
- Find the perfect rice recipe and learn to cook it with a timer so that you know for sure how much water and for how long to cook to get the proper texture every time. Then you can combine the rice with any combination of products you like and create your own masterpieces.
- Soup is always a great idea when you want to have a healthy and filling meal without spending too much time in the kitchen. You can make different soups depending on what vegetables are in season.
- Roasted chicken breasts, fish, pork, or beef may seem more complicated to cook, but give it a try and learn some basic rules for cooking meat or fish. By doing so, you won't be discouraged from buying these products when there is no one to cook for you. A tasty meat dish in your arsenal is also a fantastic way to wow your guests.
2. Basic medications and first-aid skills
Ensure that you know how to self-diagnose minor ailments, understand how to check your temperature, and which over-the-counter medicines to take for which symptoms.
You should also know how to deal with minor cuts and bruises, clean and dress a wound, and when it's time to see a doctor.
If you have the first-aid training at your school, try not to miss it. Pay attention to the information they teach you, as you never know when it may come helpful and save your or someone else's life. There is also first-aid training on YouTube that you can check out, like this one.
3. Hygiene rules
There are several basic hygiene rules that every person needs to know to stay healthy:
- Wash your hands regularly and thoroughly, especially after using the toilet, coming in from the outside, and before eating;
- Wash your hands after touching pets and other animals.
- Avoid sharing personal items like towels, toothbrushes, etc., with others.
- Do not touch your eyes, nose, and mouth;
- Cook your food safely: always use a separate cooking board for raw meat and fish. Never mix cooked and uncooked food with the same dishes, utensils, knives, etc. Always thoroughly cook meats until the juices run clear. Defrost your frozen meal in the fridge; never leave it on the countertop at room temperature for defrosting.
4. Personal care rules
I'm pretty sure that you know all these rules, but just as a reminder:
- Brush your teeth twice a day and, if possible, floss every day.
- Shower or bathe as needed, usually once a day or every other day.
- Trim nails.
- Use antiperspirant or deodorant every day.
- Wash your hair regularly.
- Every day, use clean socks and underwear.
- Wear clean clothes every day
- Use a clean razor and enough soap for shaving
5. Household maintenance skills.
I'm sure you have enough chores at your parents' home and know how to keep your room clean. But what about minor emergencies like a clogged toilet? Or a light bulb has gone bad? You should know how to deal with these things, as they will inevitably happen at some point, and it's always better to be prepared.
Here are some basic household maintenance skills that every teenager should know:
- How to unclog a toilet
- How to change a light bulb
- How to replace a battery in remote control or another electronic device
- Whom to call in case of a broken faucet, leaking washer, broken switch
- What to do if you lost your keys, the lock is not opening, the door is closed, but your keys are inside.
- How to pay utility bills
- How to shop for groceries
When you start living on your own, remember to always keep some basic household maintenance supplies on hand, such as duct tape, WD-40, super glue, etc., so that you're prepared when an emergency strikes.
And keep a plumber's and a locksmith's numbers on your phone just in case you need help asap.
6. Laundry skills.
Laundry is an unpleasant chore, but it's an important life skill to master. To prevent your clothing from being ruined, learn how to do laundry properly.
- Sort your laundry into lights and darks.
- Add detergent to the washer according to the manufacturer's instructions.
- Select the appropriate water temperature and cycle for the type of fabric being washed.
- Load the laundry into the washer.
- Close the lid and press the start button to begin the wash cycle.
- Remove your freshly-laundered clothes from the machine once the cycle is complete, and transfer them to the dryer or hang them up to dry.
- Fold or hang your clothing as soon as it's completely dry so that you can put it away in
7. Car maintenance skills
If you have your own car or frequently borrow someone's car, you should know how to do the essential maintenance. Car maintenance skills include checking the oil level, changing a flat tire, and jump-starting a car. Also, learn what to do in a car accident and how to get your car fixed after an accident. If you don't know how to do these things, take some time to learn to be prepared in case of an emergency.
8. Navigational skills
Do you know how to use public transport? How to read a map? How to use GPS in the car and Google Maps on the phone? What about a compass? Do you know where the Southeast is? If you plan a trip to college or just want to get around a new town easily, it's essential to have these navigational skills. Practice reading maps and using your phone's GPS until you feel confident in your ability to navigate new places.
When traveling to a new location, be conscious of new surroundings, take notes of street names and landmarks, and pay attention to businesses you pass. Getting in the habit of paying attention to landmarks and locations is essential for learning to navigate new places!
Next time you are at the airport with your parents, try to find the terminal and the gate number yourself using the signs there. Traveling with family is the right time to learn to navigate the airport, while your parents are still with you and you are not scared of getting lost.
9. Safety rules: what to do in emergencies
You should know what to do in case of fire, car accident, flooding, hurricane, or any other emergency. Always follow basic safety rules like wearing a seatbelt or not driving under the influence. You can also take classes or learn more about safety online. Please, watch this fire safety training
Conclusion
Congratulations! You’ve made it to the end of our guide on how to be a successful teenager. We hope you found this information helpful and that you are able to put it into practice in your own life. Remember, it takes hard work but it is definitely worth it. Aim high and don’t be afraid to dream big – you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Make sure to enjoy your teenage years while they last; it goes by quickly! Thanks for reading and happy growing up!