If you're like most parents, you want nothing more than to raise successful children. But what does that mean, exactly? And how do you go about it? It can be tough to get good advice on parenting - after all, everyone has an opinion, and not all of them are worth listening to. We've gathered parenting tips from some of the world's top entrepreneurs and scientists. These outstanding people have achieved success in their fields, and they have valuable insights to share about how to prepare kids for the future. Read on for tips and strategies to help you achieve your successful parenting goals!
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1. Nassim Taleb
Nasim Taleb has written an excellent book called "Antifragile" in which he emphasizes the significance of stress and adversity in promoting strength and resilience. Thus, becoming an anti-fragile person who can withstand shocks and improve through this experience gives a safety net for all the ups and downs of life. Nasim Taleb and later also Jonathan Haidt argue that we must expose our children to some degree of hardship to learn how to cope with difficulties and setbacks. This does not mean that you should expose your children to danger or subject them to emotional trauma, but it does imply that you should allow them to face difficulties and learn from their mistakes. We're always looking for ways to apply the anti-fragility concept in our daily parenting and through our Smart Parenting Guide blog.
2. Jonathan Haidt on raising antifragile kids
Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff wrote a great book, "The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure." In the book, the authors discuss the principles of anti-fragility and how "safetyism" weakened the entire generation of children. According to Haidt and Lukianoff, "If we protect children from various classes of potentially upsetting experiences, we make it far more likely that those children will be unable to cope with such events when they leave our protective umbrella. The modern obsession with protecting young people from "feeling unsafe" is, we believe, one of the (several) causes of the rapid rise in rates of adolescent depression, anxiety, and suicide."
There's a fantastic Joe Rogan interview with Jonathan Haidt where he discusses the ideas from the book in further detail. We suggest you watch this interview right away since these concepts are essential to grasp.
The real-life example of successful parenting
In our opinion, one of the best ways to raise antifragile kids is to give them responsibility at an early age. Start by giving them small tasks around the house, such as setting the table or feeding the pets. As they get older, you can give them more responsibility and challenges.
For example, if your child is shy, do not try to shelter them and let them hide in their shell. It would be much better to sign up shy children for drama classes in such a situation. Yes, this will be too stressful initially, but it will give such kids a lot of leverage in the future and teach them valuable meta-skills.
In the beginning, you may ask drama instructors to ease up on your child and allow them to get used to the setting. Most shy children will later participate in play and enjoy it occasionally.
You could entice kids to attend classes by giving them an exciting experience after being there for a while. Attend ten drama sessions, and we'll arrange for you to go on a surfing masterclass, a road trip, a concert, or whatever your child desires. You may also agree with your kid that they attend at least ten classes before allowing them to drop the lessons. This period should be enough for you and your child to figure out whether or not the drama is something they can do and enjoy. Such a mechanism of mild exposure to fears for building valuable skills can be applied to every aspect of life and is a part of cognitive-behavioral therapy.
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3. Gary Vaynerchuk on long-term parenting goals
Gary Vaynerchuk is a successful entrepreneur, speaker, and author. His parenting advice is based on the idea that kids need to be prepared for the realities of life. Moreover, Gary Vee emphasizes that parents need to stop raising their children with a sense of entitlement. Otherwise, they tend to lose the natural drive for achievements and expect that everyone must solve their problems or own them something.
Gary Vee's YouTube speeches make you rethink how you treat your children and open your eyes to several parenting issues. Moreover, Gary Vee suggests that maybe college education, especially business schools, are not the best way to learn the business. He emphasizes that business skills are acquired through real-world business situations rather than the case studies widely taught in business schools. And considering the cost of education in high-end business schools, it may be more efficient to invest that money in real business.
Gary Vaynerchuk's interesting point of view has made us rethink our attitude towards a college education. And even more so after reading Madeleine Levine's book "Teach your children well."
4. Madeline Levine on children's needs
Madeline Levine is a clinical psychologist who has written extensively on successful parenting. Her book, "Teach Your Children Well," offers valuable advice for parents and helps them understand their kids in different age stages. She extensively describes all issues and expectations as well as ways to help children of every developmental stage.
Dr. Levine emphasizes that high-school children must learn to understand themselves and mindfully make their life choices; otherwise, they are predisposed for unhappy and unsuccessful life. She points out that older children may have a wide range of skills, and not all of them are academic. It is the responsibility of parents to assist children in developing their talents rather than forcing them to study subjects that parents choose.
In her most recent book "Ready or Not: Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World", Dr. Levine warns about the current academic system's inability to prepare children for the future and what we can do to ensure children's flexibility and resilience in an ever-changing real world. We couldn't recommend any of Dr. Levine's books more highly! It is a must-read for every parent.
5. Steven Pinker on children's safety
Steven Pinker is a famous Canadian-American cognitive psychologist, linguist, and author. He is known for his popular science books such as The Better Angels of Our Nature, Enlightenment Now, Rationality: What It Is, Why It Seems Scarce, Why It Matters. Dr. Pinker emphasizes the progress and advancement of humanity throughout history in his books. His works include valuable statistics on a range of issues, such as homicide rate, hunger, maternal mortality during childbirth, and infant mortality.
During the twentieth century, human beings have experienced unprecedented prosperity and improvement in all areas of life. According to Dr. Pinker, during this period, developed countries and the rest of the world have seen significant progress.: ".....children....have become better off: they are less likely to enter the world motherless, die before their fifth birthday, or grow up stunted for the lack of food. ......in addition to escaping these natural assaults, children are increasingly escaping human-made ones: they are safer than they were before, and likelier to enjoy a true childhood." (Enlightenment Now, p. 228).
Dr. Pinker utilizes statistical facts to demonstrate that victimization of children (both physical and sexual abuse, school bullying) has decreased substantially between the years 1993-2012. This data comes in contradiction to the common belief that children are living in increasingly dangerous times. Another significant decline is in the physical punishment used by parents to modify behavior (spanking, smacking, etc.). Also, more children worldwide have access to education and become literate.
Dr. Pinker claims that "the growth of education ... is a flagship of human progress". He emphasizes in his book that "investing in education really does make countries richer." We highly suggest that every parent read Steven Pinker's book "Enlightenment Now," as it can help create a comprehensive and healthy worldview and rethink your long-term parenting goals according to the real-world state without the availability bias created by media. His book is optimistic and shows the beauty of the world we are living in.
Disclaimer: The "Enlightenment Now" book was published in 2018 when the era of peace following World War II had continued for more than 70 years. Such a peaceful time was a one-of-a-kind period in history, characterized by the absence of big wars or conflicts on the European and American continents.
This long-term peace has enabled progress and prosperity for the developed countries and the whole world, with free trade and globalization being two of the most significant engines of progress. In present days, we cannot predict how the world will develop in the next decade or so, but we still highly recommend Dr. Pinker's book for reading as it clearly shows that progress always continues through time regardless the history's ups and downs. So does society in general, primarily due to knowledge and education.
6. Naval Ravikant on raising successful people
Naval Ravikant is an American entrepreneur, angel investor, and co-founder of AngelList. He is also the CEO and a co-founder of VentureHacks. He came from an Indian immigrant family and grew up in a single-parent household. Coming from a poor background, "immigrants trying to survive," Naval made his fortune using the principles he generously shares with other people through his tweet, podcasts, and blog. A fantastic guide to wealth and happiness called "The Almanack of Naval Ravikant" is available FOR FREE here . We strongly suggest you read it carefully as it is packed with golden nuggets that you can apply to yourself and your children.
Another fantastic piece of content produced by Naval is the massive podcast episode combining the How to Get Rich podcast series. Listening to this 3.5-hour podcast will give you insight into the exact skills you need to plant in your kids to ensure they will succeed in life, whatever path they choose to pursue. This podcast, in our opinion, is a single thing that every parent should listen to and memorize.
Here is just a short glimpse of Ravikant's main ideas that can help you raise successful kids.
Become irreplaceable. (Arm Yourself With Specific Knowledge 54:34) For this, a person needs to have specific knowledge that no one else can replicate. This specific knowledge is not taught through schools; otherwise, it would be a mass product that anyone can do or even be automated. A person can obtain specific knowledge by pursuing their innate talents, genuine curiosity, passion. Often specific knowledge is at the edge of knowledge, the stuff that is hard to figure out. Usually, the specific knowledge is taught on the job or through apprenticeship. It is also technical and creative. You can develop a unique knowledge that no one else can reach if you become a top 25% in several areas you are interested in. "Learn to sell, learn to build. If you can do both, you'll be unstoppable."
Develop a love for reading. People should know how to educate themselves, and the foundation of learning is reading (The Foundations Are Math and Logic 1:12:00). Reading must become a habit, so "Read What You Love Until You Love to Read." Naval suggests people start reading books they understand, even simple fiction, and they can advance step-by-step to reading complicated scientific or philosophical texts.
The 5 most important life skills, according to Naval Ravikant, are reading, writing, arithmetic, persuasion (speaking), computer programming. All these skills provide significant leverage in any domain that you are operating.
7. JL Collins on financial literacy
JL Collins is a financial expert who wrote a valuable book, "The Simple Path to Wealth," about investments that everyone can follow to grow their wealth without specific financial skills or knowledge. In his book, he teaches a working strategy on becoming financially independent and having enough F-You Money by your 30s or ASAP. You probably understand that F-You Money provides people with the freedom to choose the life they want and reach their full potential.
JL Collins endorses the FIRE movement (Financial Independence Retire Early) and provides practical recommendations for achieving financial independence. This book is a must-read for parents who want to help their children become financially independent as soon as possible, enjoy their life, and have a freedom many of us can only imagine. Here's a blog article penned by JL Collins almost ten years ago as financial advice for his daughter, who was entering the workforce at that time. This information he then included and expanded in his book "The Simple Path to Wealth." Among others, the author addresses in the book the following questions:
- What should your attitude be regarding debt, whether it's consumer debt, student loans, or a home mortgage?
- What sort of investment vehicles (e.g., 401(k) / 403(b), IRA, Roth, or taxable) should you use?
- How should you invest your money to get the highest rate of return and become financially independent as soon as possible?
- What is the magic number for achieving financial independence?
- How will you arrange your growing assets to take maximum advantage of tax rates and avoid fines when you've reached financial independence?
The Simple Path to Wealth can be a roadmap for your child (and you) to smart wealth building with the lowest risks.
JL Collins also gave his foreword for a great book on teaching money skills from an early age, "Raising Your Money-Savvy Family For Next Generation Financial Independence." The authors describe how to provide financial lessons at each age level and increase the desire to earn, save, and invest. The book is chock-full of ideas for parents on teaching these crucial subjects in a way that works for their kids.
A solid financial education can provide children with a solid base to start their adult lives, thus avoiding many blunders. It's never too early to teach your children about money, and these books will show you how.