I remember the morning when Russia invaded Ukraine on 24.02.22. My partner and I had worked late the night before, so we woke up a bit later, and our kids came to us for some snuggling. I felt rested, full of energy, and ready to make breakfast. Then, my partner told me: "That's weird; friends wrote they were at home. What happened?" I immediately felt a cold shiver run down my back, as everyone had been talking about the possibility of war those days. Then we read the news. That was it: Russia started shelling Ukraine.
I was broken emotionally in the first few days of the war, and I could hardly stop crying. Although my core family resides in another safe country, many of our family and friends live in Kyiv. We were glued to the news and couldn't think of anything else. It seemed that life had stopped. Then I realized that our actions had a lasting influence on children. They got cranky for the tiniest reasons, didn't want to cooperate, and threw massive temper tantrums. I understood that things had to change, or they develop PTSD soon.
In this blog post, I want to share the tips that help my kids and me regain emotional balance in such a stressful situation.
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Disclaimer: Please note that I'm not a health professional, and these suggestions may not be helpful in severe stress or depression. Also, these tips might not help children who are actively involved in such horrible events as war or other catastrophes. However, if your child is worried about school, problems with friends, or family issues, these tips may help reduce anxiety and stress.
1. Help yourself first for your stressed kid.
Every adult should have some methods for relaxing and staying calm at the ready. My techniques for relaxing include meditation, yoga, and a hearty but healthy breakfast.
Healthy breakfast. Cortisol, a stress hormone, is frequently high in the morning, particularly if you haven't had a decent sleep the night before. That is why it's critical to give your body enough energy and nutrients to handle these hormones. In one of his podcasts, Dr. Jordan Peterson said that he recommended his anxious and depressed patients to consume a hearty breakfast in the morning to lower cortisol levels. When I'm nervous, I always follow this advice. Furthermore, breakfast comprised of slow carbohydrates, fats, and proteins keeps blood sugar levels stable, which immediately influences one's emotional state. That is why I never consume sugar in the morning.
Anti-stress food:
- slow carbohydrates: whole grains, sweet potato
- omega 3-products: fatty fish like salmon or tuna, avocado, chia, and flaxseeds
- products with B vitamins: almond, pistachio, and walnuts
- calcium and vitamin D-rich products: milk, yogurt, cheese, kale, broccoli
- vitamin C-rich products: citrus fruits or strawberry
Meditations have been proven to improve people's mental states. You may use meditation apps, look for a guided meditation on YouTube, or try to quiet your mind and focus on breathing. In my situation, I decided to do the tailored meditations prepared for me by my psychologist, and these meditations worked marvelously on me.
Yoga has a significant effect on people's state of mind. With all those inhales/exhales, stretches, and mindful movements, you may quickly attain emotional balance by changing how your brain works. If you're not a yoga enthusiast, any sort of exercise is fantastic for relieving stress and choose the one that appeals to you most.
Seek expert help if you need it. Professional help is probably the most efficient approach to relief from anxiety and stress. A mental health professional uses methods specific to your situation and personality to help you as soon as possible.
2. Stick to the routines with a stressed kid.
If feasible, don't modify anything in a child's daily schedule that they're used to. Every transition adds to the snowball of stress, and children benefit from having established patterns. The essential thing is to maintain the bedtime within the usual time and give a kid enough rest time to wake up on their own in the morning. Bedtime is especially significant for an anxious or stressed child.
3. Epsom salt baths for better sleep and relaxation.
Sometimes, when a child is stressed, they may have problems falling asleep. In this case, taking a 20 min bath can soothe your child and improve sleep quality.
Epsom salt is a magnesium sulfate that dissolves in water to form ions of magnesium and sulfate, which the skin absorbs. Epsom salt bath is beneficial for relieving muscle tension, anxiety, nervousness, restlessness, and irritability.
Two cups of Epsom salt in a regular-size bathtub is typically advised for a child. To reap the advantages of Epsom salt water, children should soak in it for at least 10 to 20 minutes.
Warning: Epsom salt may have side effects, such as a rash, itching, or other issues. We strongly advise you to consult with a practitioner before bathing your child in a salt bath. Your doctor should determine the quantity of salt to water; the ratio may differ depending on your child's age, weight, and health conditions.
Also, it is crucial to choose a pure Epsom salt for children and avoid technical-quality products.
4. Create a safe place for a stressed child.
It's vital for children to feel the warmth of their parents when they're stressed. Children frequently seek attention and physical contact from their parents when worried. So, before going to bed or even during the day, make a blanket house where you can sit with your child and give them attention. By doing so, you create a safe space for your child, make up for the lack of a sense of security, and help to gain a feeling of control over the situation. The blanket house is an excellent place for you and your child to sit and hug in peace, or you may speak with the child about the issue. But don't push them. Our post about emotional intelligence described an effective method for retelling emotional experiences from Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson's "The Whole-Brain Child." Keep your discussion as simple as possible, avoiding the unnecessary information that may elicit strong feelings.
5. Breathing exercises with long exhales, and shorter inhales.
The nervous system and muscles will relax with this type of breathing. Younger children may enjoy blowing bubbles or using a feather to help focus on the long breath-outs. Also, 4 4 4 (so-called square breathing) or 5 5 10 deep breathing techniques work great for calming and relaxation. In this approach, a child breathes in while you count to 4 or 5, holds their breath for 4 or 5 counts before exhaling for 4 or 10 counts (depending on their age and skills). With older kids, this deep breathing technique is entirely doable.
6. Meditations for kids.
Several meditation applications may be quite helpful for children seven years old and up. For example, Headspace for Kids, Mindfulness for Children, Stop, Breathe & Think are just a few of them. However, if your child has never engaged in meditations before and you believe they will be unable to do so, try to calm them with a bit of guidance. Ask a child to relax every part of their body when you name it. Tell them to imagine a beautiful place, whether it's made-up or a memory from their trip, for example. Encourage them to describe their favorite place, recall pleasant memories, or create a happy story about it. Even with 3-4-year-olds, storytelling works wonderfully.
7. Physical exercises for stressed kids.
Physical activity helps release stress and get mood-boosting hormones (endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin) to the brain. When muscles relax, so does the mind. The bodily tension has an effect on a person's mental state.
Stretches are one of the most effective methods to relieve child stress. The simplest is when a kid is on their back, and one of their parents holds them by the arms above the wrists, while the second parent holds them by the legs. Then they simultaneously pull the legs and arms in opposing directions for 5-10 seconds. Parents then return the arms and legs to their initial position simultaneously. There is no need to pull strong; a slight stretch is enough. Repeat 3-5 times for best results. This basic stretch has a relaxing and soothing impact, especially when performed in the evening.
Chest-opening exercises, shoulder rolls, and star posture are excellent stress relievers. Gymnastic bars may be a great help for children to improve their execution of activities. The bar adds excitement to the workouts for kids even as young as 4-5 years old.
You can play games for muscular relaxation with younger children. Ask a kid to consider they're an ice cream bar in the freezer, for example. They should tense up their entire bodies as much as possible. The ice cream begins to melt as the sun shines on it. The kid must relax their muscles as much as possible. You may do this exercise several times for the kid to relax better.
Yoga for children is an excellent way to unwind. However, it is usually easier to practice yoga with older kids who are seven years old and over; most small children will lose interest in yoga quickly.
8. Arts and crafts for kids in stress.
Offer your kids the opportunity to create something based on their passions. In our situation, our son got really into constructing with Legos. If you have younger children, finger paints would be an excellent and creative way to express themselves. It's even better if they do it in the bathtub so you can simply clean up the mess afterward. (Just make sure that the paint doesn't stain the tub.) Arts and crafts are a great stress reliever for children. Sand, play dough, shaving foam, every pleasant and soft tactile material that kids can knead in their hands has a soothing impact on the nervous system. Another relaxing activity for older kids is coloring (e.g., mandalas).
9. Take your kid for a nature walk.
Researchers found that exposing youngsters to nature lowers stress hormones and has a relaxing effect on the nervous system. Children's attention and self-discipline are improved even when they look out of the window at nature views from school. As a result, if your youngster is upset or in an adverse circumstance, going for a stroll with them is an excellent idea. Nature walks restore energy, relieve stress, and relax the nervous system. Find some greenery and spend time with your child, even if you don't live near a forest. After the walk, both of you will feel recharged and happier.
10. Listening to music and singing.
Music listening, singing, or dancing to music can reduce stress in children and boost their emotions. Parents might help children to discover their favorite soothing music. Singing songs might help release feelings trapped in the body by expressing them.
11. Therapeutic storytelling for stressed children.
Stories and fairytales are great ways to help children cope with emotional problems. Children adore and comprehend fairy tales on both a conscious and subconscious level. Specific stories and fairytales can assist children in resolving emotional issues, instilling values, helping them overcome fears, and modifying behavior. The positive effect of narrative is that children identify with characters in the story experiencing similar issues. When these characters overcome similar difficulties, youngsters are inspired to apply their learning from the tale to real life. Stories help broaden children's viewpoints and perceptions of events they are presently involved in.
Not every fairy tale is suitable for therapeutic use. Susan Perrow, an Australian storytelling specialist, wrote several highly relevant titles to parents. You may just pick a problem and read a tale about it, making these books extremely handy for parents. This particular book can be enjoyed by children aged three to ten years old.
There are seven more books in this series, and you can choose the one you like best here
Perhaps you could look for these books in your local library to check if your child likes them. However, we feel that every family should have a book with therapeutic tales to help children in difficult situations as soon after possible.
The following books we recommend here focus on one particular issue: family breakdown, incurable disease, and parental depression.
This Storybook kit includes a Storybook Manual, which teaches parents and professionals how to weave tales that will assist children in dealing with their emotions and minds. You may also buy the Storybook Manual separately if the stories contained in the collection are not appropriate for your children.
Conclusion
Today, we are living in tough times. Who would have thought that a full-scale war could break out in Europe or a deadly epidemic may threaten the world's population? Unfortunately, many children who are amid such catastrophes will develop various mental problems and must receive expert care and assistance. Children with moderate stress levels from everyday life events might benefit from stress-reduction methods outlined in this article. However, if you teach your youngster to deal with stressful situations in their daily lives, they will become resilient and strong individuals with self-help skills. We believe this is one of the methods to create anti-fragile children that can better cope with unanticipated life events and do so without harm to themselves.